(Originally posted April 10, 2009)

But it has a nice way of putting things in focus.

WARNING: This is going to be a random post. I’ve said that I’ll be using this blog to chat about my writing, etc. and I’ve yet to use it for that. Today is the day I’m going to change that. Let the randomness begin!

I’m torn between looking out my window and watching an unknown Telenovela. Option #1: overcast sky, gray bark, gloomy, gloomy, gloomy. Option #2: handsome man, cute girl, cut scene, another handsome man lying naked in a bed.

Choice should be obvious, right?

It would be if there wasn’t responsibility #1: WRITING!

Why is this so hard?

I love to write. I love to read. I love to read and then write. However, I’m feeling a little schizophrenic between the five worlds competing to be created. My mind is all over the place.

I’m in a creepy little southern town called Vickery Hill one day dealing with an unstable Resurrector and psychotic Pureblood vampire, another sees me in an outlet mall cavorting with a werewolf and empath, the next I’m creeping along strip club with an immortal Narcissus and his reincarnated lover (one he drove to suicide BTW), the following I’m stuck in the woods in France during the 12th century with another mega-powerful vampire and her gentle bastard (literally) soon-to-be lover, and occasionally I’m in a Nephilim dimension frozen in time with a snow god and his Nephilim-assigned partner Alice who’s on the verge of a melt down.

I totally see this as my fault though. I went through three years of a writing drought and now it’s flash-flooding. I was always one of those writers that could only focus on one story at a time. Part of my new lease on life was to break that limitation. I want to come back strong and five stories is my ROAR. It’s my way of making up for lost time. It’s my way of saying, “You want to be a writer? Well, show ‘em what you got, biatch.”

Le Sigh.

I wouldn’t say I’m floundering. I’m just a little crazy. All these stories exist in the same world, so having them develop at the same time rocks because it allows me to check for consistency. Quality Inspector #77 at your service, you know? But, it’s hard not to play favorites. Just this week I was on Devil’s Descent II and had just wrote the update. I posted it and wanted to come back to Julian. Getting into his mind can be a very scary yet fun place to play. I imagine much like a rollercoster. (I imagine only because there’s no f-ing way I’m ever getting on one. Balls to that!) Anyway, I’m wanting to go back and play but I can’t because Narcissus yanks me away to go write what’s going to happen next to his Suicide Doll.

I’d like to whine, but there’s no one to whine to because I immediately hear, “You wanted to write. So write, biatch.”

I do it because I’m a good little biatch. Finish one then another steps right in place. Finish that one, another comes in. Do that one, hey look! There’s another one.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I’m bitching. I know it. I’m not a good little biatch.

So I’m sitting here at my makeshift desk that wobbles when I type with any smidgen of passion. My butt is falling asleep on the wooden chest I use as a desk. My right foot is getting tingly on the Firm’s Transfirmer I use as a foot rest. My glasses keep sliding down my nose reminding me that I should just put my contacts in even if I won’t do anything else. Trent Reznor is whispering in my ear, “Everywhere I look you’re all I see/Just a fading fucking reminder of who I use to be/Come on tell me!” My wobbly table is cluttered with junk, ipod, and an empty Nasa mug I got on vacation last year.

Wow. You know what? I think I’ll take a little schizoid right now. Hell, any of those worlds is gotta be way cooler than the mess I’m tolerating right now!

Thanks for reading. I really should do this more often.

Image Credit: Baltar at Stock.Xchng.