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Lifting open her shadowed lids, she stared sightlessly at the rough, heavily wooded pathway ahead of her. It would have been impassable to most humans and difficult to travel for those who were not. Only her steed’s instinct and her skill kept them moving ahead. Even still, it was an arduous journey for both woman and beast.

A journey that I have no choice but to make.

Madness tinged the ebony light of her lovely eyes, while the weariness of her life paled her ivory complexion even further. To ignorant eyes, she was a lovely human, her coloring that of fable. Petite in stature and perfect in limb, she was the embodiment of the noble princess in search of true love.
Only her rise to royalty was far from noble and true love could not survive the next rising moon. This eve her life ended.

Again.

Focusing on the void left by the dark night, she waited for the inevitable cry of alarm. She rode in tense anticipation, listening for the roar of rage from a prince thwarted. It was only a matter of time before she heard and felt the hoarse bestial promise of vengeance from a man she called Lord.

Master. Lover. Husband.

By now, miles separated her from his throne and bed, but the distance in her damaged heart could never be measured.

This hurts. It hurts so badly!

A gilded cage had been her home for the past two winters. What a place of wonder it had been to an innocent! Because all within were smiling and lovely beyond words, she had been dazzled by such a life. But now she knew the sparkling facade skillfully hid the rotten spirit within. At one time, she had been dizzy with the indescribable beauty of her new habitat—now she felt nothing but disgust for it.

The DeMontier palace was the abode of her before-unknown ancestors and all that were almost like her.

And therein lies all of my problems.

The vessel of unyielding wood, stone, and iron had been made for her a millennium before. Its mere construction was designed to rule all of creation. She shuddered from the thought, feeling acrid fear coil around her heart that it could possibly happen.

The castle and all its curiosities had been a part her silken prison. The cunning manipulations of a people bent on fatal ambition escaped her understanding, while the invisible walls drew higher and closer. For two years she had been entrapped beneath the watchful eye of all who would sacrifice her remaining humanity for their greed.

And I never knew.
Until a sennight ago she had willingly closed the gates on herself, blissfully happy for she had not shared this captivity alone. She had found destiny itself in her Prince Nikolaus.

First as a mentor, then as a lover, and finally as a husband.

She had drowned in his rapture while tasting the heady elixir of life. She had known such a soul-searing, painfully sweet love, all the while finding completion in his arms. The shattering kiss of his ultimate possession left her branded for eternity and cold to another’s touch.

Even now if I could go back to that day I would.

Nikolaus had taken her to the limits of emotional endurance and she had suffered it gladly—all for his love. The life he had carved for her had been so replete, so perfect that she would have willingly stayed at his feet forever. However, now she had broken her vow to Nikolaus, leaving behind all she knew, to save her own soul.

She could not be a part of their evil, nor could she agree with their methodical desire to eliminate all who opposed their will or were by nature weaker.

She would not be their instrument of destruction. She refused to be a part of Nikolaus’ vision of cleansing death. The emotionless words of her fate resounded in her mind, over and over again, until she almost gave in to the urge to scream aloud her misery and crushing grief.

“She will bring us all across…her blood will nourish us ALL until…nothing will keep us from our destiny…”

Whimpering, she struggled to contain her pain while fighting to silence his persuasive voice. She did not make it this far just to give in. Straightening her spine, she pushed her weaknesses aside for the moment. She would survive beyond the forest and she would never come back here again. She would someday live again and soon love again. She would do all these things and more.

Yet…

“Nikolaus,” she whispered softly, her voice falling away in the desolate night air. The solitary word had been ripped from her bloodless lips, ripped away just as Nikolaus slashed away every piece of her life that was his. Slumping her shoulders, she felt the brief spark of defiance lose its brightness.

“Nikolaus,” her heart wailed with each throb of function, tightening in readiness to cease, believing it, SHE could not survive such an unrelenting agony. For no matter how long she ran, no matter what distant lands she eventually settled in, she would hear him. He would invade her thoughts, her pain, her very soul, beckoning her to fall in damnation with him.

His voice would never cease its whisper until eventually it found her.

God have mercy on her then. Once discovered, it would winningly demand her complete submission. Darling this is our nature, you can only choose one way… Failing that, his agile tongue would become apart of her every waking hour, charmingly seducing her to his side. I love you so. Can’t you feel my heart? How can you do this to us? Oh so fervently his words would plead with her, begging her to allow him knowledge of where she was, wearing down her defenses until the night of her inevitable surrender came.

She could not be that foolish.

Her ears heightened its sensitivity, awaiting his voice and the voices of the others with dread. She could not chance being so easily tempted by Nikolaus any longer. What she discovered about him and his intimate subjects was so contemptible, so abhorrent! The hatred and single-mindedness his family held for the rest of the world could only end up destroying them all. Nikolaus supported their beliefs and by supporting them, he could no longer be her true husband.

So why did she fear hearing his voice inside her head? Why was she so terrified to hear him say her name, to hear him softly whisper “Adria?”

Because I might crawl back to him and beg his forgiveness, her inner spirit answered with a somber note of sadness.

It did not lie.

What if she was not strong enough to defy his will? Perhaps all this planning had been for naught. Indecisiveness caused her to slow Arnulf down, while her hands loosened their death-grip on the reins. She was still close enough to the palace—she could easily slip back in with none the wiser.

No, I cannot go back! Ever. I won’t be brought back either, no matter how long they search for me, I will not be found!

Shaking her head as if to clear it, she gripped the reins more firmly, silently commanding Arnulf to regain their speed.

Once she was discovered missing, the ones who served the royal house blindly would not waste a moment to pursue her. Again. The irony of the situation did not slip past her. The men who had taken so much away once, had seemingly given her life back—only to attempt to take it away once more.

And all under the impartial eye of the murky darkness.

It was as if fate had chosen this moonless night for her. Nikolaus’ men could not use their power from the silent and ever observant Luna against her. While their tracking skills would still be formidable, it would not be enough. Nikolaus had taught her well—never fathoming one night his teachings would be used in this manner. This time she would win and not fail like she did that long ago night.

She would triumph over them all…if only she could resist her husband and lord.

Looking up, she caught snatches of the night sky between the shifting shadows of ancient branches. Had it been such a night as this when Nikolaus first invaded her life? Did the air bite so fiercely and with such passion, that even her fur-lined cloak provided little protection from its sting? How could she have survived such evenings with only a dilapidated hut to call home? Hunching her shoulders, she tried futilely to keep the cold at bay. In a span of two winters, she had become accustomed to the sinful luxuries of indoor fires, fine food, ornate brocaded gowns, and finally—the warmth of a hard, strong body curved against her own.

Now she would have to learn to do without those comforts. She could do it, and even if she believed she could not, her nature demanded nothing less than survival. Her tolerance of extreme climates would increase. Her ability to hunt food had never left. She had grown up with far less clothing—she would become used to it again. Why the gown and underclothing she wore now held more fabric than all of her old dresses put together! And as to a body next her own…

Some things would be easier to forget than others.

How can I ever hope to forget him? It would be easier to forget the first fifteen years of my existence than him. Even now I can picture perfectly the curve of his mouth, but I can’t remember how old I was when I first broke my arm.

During the two years spent in his life, her own had become more a dream than reality. Before Nikolaus found her, she had been as much a beast as the one beneath her. Humanity had been borne of tremulous control and illusion, a state solely attributed to her grandmother. Once Anna had been taken away, she was left closer to her true nature than any other time before.

Anna.

The grief Nikolaus and his family had been a part of filled her with disgust, agony, and guilt. The blame of her unwitting betrayal was another burden she would carry for the rest of her life.

If there was another way, if only she had made different choices…

She would have to make peace concerning her grandmother one day. Anna would never accept anything less. However, she did not know how she would ever find the strength.

Leaning closer to the muscled neck of Arnulf, she thought of how much she used to fear him, refusing to even touch, much less ride him. During their long trek to Nikolaus’ home, she had to be restrained to keep from bolting off of the powerful horse. It was only until Nikolaus patiently taught her control over the beasts serving them that she had finally conquered her instinctual fear.

His name brought a fresh tremor of pain. How long before she felt the whisper of his rage? She dreaded it. She truly did, yet still she yearned helplessly to hear her name pass his lips. These bittersweet memories of their life once again brought her so dangerously close to going back. All it would take would be a yank of her reins, a change in direction, and she would be home in his bed and in his arms.

Swallowing thickly, she continued forward, resisting the insane desire to turn back. She would be stronger than this mad wish. She would! She simply had to. She would not give in to her weaker emotions. She would not lose to the remembrance of a lie. She would escape with her freedom and her dark knowledge AND she would create a new life for herself.

But how would she ever escape the memory of him?

Wistfully she thought of where she had left her traitorous love. Even at this very moment he might be rousing from sleep in their luxurious chamber. He might be languidly reaching out his hand in search for her, thinking perhaps she had traveled to the far side of their bed for it was something that she had done quite often.

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“Adria”, he growled throatily in her ear. “Darling, how is it that you manage to find yourself at the end of the bed? One more inch and your bottom will find itself on the freezing stone and most likely bruised from the fall.” Trailing a soft caress across her hip, he whispered wickedly, “I want you to wear only MY bruises…”

Shifting her tousled head, she kissed his bare arm hungrily, demonstrating eloquently her opinion of his chastisement. “And I wear them with pride, my love.”

Nikolaus hauled her against him. He moved them both towards the center of their bed and turned her so her back was against his chest. “This is where your bottom belongs, right next to me.”

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Failing that Nikolaus might call for her in a husky, sleep-tinged voice.

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“Adria? Where are you, my love?”

Glancing over her bare shoulder she smiled brightly at his perturbed expression. Before she could utter a single word he entreated huskily, “Come back to bed, Beauty. I can’t sleep when you’re not beside me.”

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That time she had only been warming herself by the fire, never once imagining mere weeks later she would be leaving.

Nikolaus had become increasingly possessive of her, almost as if he was fearful that she would disappear. Anytime she left his side, his dark eyes would constantly search for her, never satisfied until he found her either surrounded by her ladies or perhaps instructing a servant to refill his father’s goblet. She was never far and always easy to find.

Theirs was a link that was born of fate and passion. Perhaps that was why she could feel him continuously. Sometimes when he wished it, she could hear him in the confines of her mind. Just a whisper of her name and she would lift her head immediately, needing to find him as well, if only to quench the longing he stirred within. A mere second or two and the dark fire of his gaze would burn her languidly, promising her the world. “My dearest love, I would gift you all the kingdoms on a platter, if you wish it.”

If only she knew how literal Nikolaus had been. In her ignorance, she had not known his words were not merely a beautiful exaggeration. It was something he had said quite often. Therefore she had always answered the same. Laughingly she would reply, silently or not, “I do not want the world my dearest Lord—I only want you.”

His lips would then part in such a beautiful smile, small yet intimate all at once. No matter where they were or whom he was speaking to, Nikolaus would turn his head towards her and smile. She knew it was solely for her and her heart never failed to expand with such a surging of love for him.
Her insides tightened with sorrow, the heavy, unwanted imaginings and memories nearly suffocating her. She thought bitterly, The sweetest lie comes from my most dangerous foe.

She was never his love. Not in the true sense of the word. She was a pawn in his family’s quest for power and strength, nothing more. She was what he created. Even her name was one of his choosing. He had molded her to virtually breathe at his pleasure, to exist at his whim, and above all, to love him beyond reason. He had a role to play and he had played it well.

How could such a girl like herself ever stand a chance against such a ruthless prince?

The brutal fact was she had been lost the moment she ever saw him. He had sought to gain her love and succeeded only too well. What petty sport she must have been for him! A spiteful smile hollowly curved her lips. Never would it occur to Nikolaus, at first, to believe that she was gone.

Especially because of tonight.

She had given herself over to him with an abandonment he had never before tasted. I gave him everything. I showed him what my love for him is. Shutting her haunted eyes for a brief moment, she had no choice but to remember.

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“Adria,” he murmured against her flushed skin, savoring the sweetness of her thigh. “Adria, you’ve pleased me tonight, my love.” Dragging his mouth over to the curve of her hip he firmly nipped her flesh, causing her to moan in painful pleasure.

Lifting her head off the tangled sheets, she gazed into his eyes, memorizing each detail of his deceitful male beauty. Sorrow swam in her eyes, distorting the dark countenance of his face.

Nikolaus enfolded her in his embrace possessively, believing her tears to be the result of his praise. “I always knew you could be this giving. You are the greatest of all my creations…my sweet love.” He smoothed back her ebony hair gently before blessing her forehead with the brush of his generous lips. “Never have I been as proud of you as I am tonight.”

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Opening her eyes, she stared blindly ahead at the desolate path ahead of her. She had given him the only testament of her love that he understood.

Submission.

Complete selflessness had been her final gift to Nikolaus. Her back and thighs ached with the generosity of her acquiescence. Their love play had lasted for hours. He had been in a frenzy of lust for her and she for him. The candles had gutted long before Nikolaus had fallen from her in slumber and total satiation.

Afterwards, all she could do was lay there, the tears silently rolling down her face, before slipping out from beneath his arm and gathering her things. She had not been able to resist one final kiss and then she was gone.

She imagined how uncontrollably furious he would be once he realized that she had fled, slipping out from under his very nose. Rarely did Nikolaus allow his personal control to falter, choosing to mask his anger in softly spoken words versus the crude bellowing of his relatives. However, this night would no doubt witness a loss of temper.

A sad smile twisted her lips as she remembered the first time he had lost control and roared his displeasure at her. She had never been so frightened of him. The only thing she could do was kneel on the floor and cry while he raged.

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Her tears seemingly inflamed his fury. Impatiently he paced back and forth while asking one biting question after another.

“I told you to keep away from him! Why did you disobey me?”
…

“How long have you been seeing him behind my back?”
…

“Have you given yourself to him?”
…

“Have you FUCKED him?!”

None of her answers satisfied the inferno burning inside his breast. Sobbing, she pleaded and begged, promising never to go against his wishes again. It had not been enough.

Afterwards he had been very loving, cradling her in his lap, banishing all pain in one soulful embrace.

”Ah my sweet Adria, only you would be so foolish to push me to this extreme.” Lifting her face, he brushed away her tears while murmuring, “Swear to me that you will never force me to mark you in anger again. Swear it!”

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After his disbelief faded and the realization of her actions set in, the rafters would undoubtedly quake from the force of his wrath tonight. Escape had never really been a concern for him, even until the very end. In all his arrogance, Nikolaus believed his power over her to be so great nothing would ever take her from him. Not his betrayal, not the intrigue, and never herself.

The creature leaving her master? Impossible.

Clenching her fists tightly, she felt the rough leather rub her skin. Even now, during this moment in time when she knew nothing of her future, kept nothing but the clothes on her back, carried nothing but a small trove of coins, seen nothing outside of this unnamed forest, even now, ESPECIALLY now, she yearned for him.

Mechanically, she ducked her head against a low hanging branch. Miserable tears rolled down the smooth, colorless flesh of her cheeks. She still loved him with such an encompassing force. It was almost impossible to truly believe in an existence without him. Nikolaus was her entire world and had been for almost two years.

But it’s a world built on deceit.

All she had learned and experienced at his knee, all she had turned herself into for his pleasure—it was all for a lie. She could be tempted to just lie in a ditch and die.

It was almost easy enough to allow herself to go back to the earth, to force herself to disappear into nothingness. The intensity of this incomparable pain seemed too much to bear.

After all her discoveries, it would be easy enough to accept Death’s chaste kiss and momentary company. It would be frighteningly simple to fall into the black sleep, to dream of nothing for all of eternity, but she would not dream alone.

Adria was carrying the next ruler of this barbaric kingdom within her very womb.

The entire court had celebrated the announcement of her expectancy. Nikolaus had been overjoyed, arrogantly strutting around with pride much to her laughter and delight. Never had she been so happy to be a part of this magical kingdom in the sky. Her ladies had all fluttered about, inspecting her every chair for comfort, cautioning her to take care, all in all thoroughly pampering her to the point of suffocation.

Yet she had taken their attention with warmth and gratitude, feeling so blessed to have their support. She had believed their exultation to be because of genuine goodwill.

Now I know differently.

The life she and Nikolaus created lay nestled safely inside of her. No hardship would be too much to bear as long as her son was safe. I know it’s a boy, I can feel it. She would not allow him to be used as a pawn, as she herself had been. She would never allow any of those unnatural creatures to even come close to her son. Not Nikolaus, not even King Vasek. She was determined to protect this child at the cost of her very life.

Or his father’s.

No matter how much agony she suffered for his death, she would kill him if he forced her to. She would protect her babe as fiercely as the wolf, even more so. Nikolaus, please stay away. Just stay away.

Life had certainly been cruel to the girl proclaimed Adria. Fate had played with her mortal coil, twisting it until she no longer knew what was real and what was myth. In addition, the danger of blind belief extended beyond herself. Others rejoiced in the mythology of her. They would stop at nothing to sacrifice her and her son for the promised power of her being.

Even her lord and master Nikolaus.

So it was she came to him in fear and now left him in fear. Before she ever experienced the ecstasy, love, and grief for him, Nikolaus had wrought fascination and undiscovered desire. On a distant afternoon she had innocently followed his men on the other side of these very woods out of curiosity.
And curiosity turned into obsession once she had finally seen him.

“ADRIA.”

He knew! Trembling with sudden anxiety, Adria exerted her mind’s control over Arnulf. Nikolaus would not be able to see exactly how far away she was through the horse’s eyes. He had taught her well. Now her survival would be put to the test.

“ADRIA!!”

The shout came much louder, deafening her with its savage fury, touching every part of her body with its uncontrolled ire. Urging her mount to greater speed, Adria gave one last thought to that distant night when her life forever changed, before closing her own mind off to him.

Just one last thought to a lifetime ago when she had simply been an unnamed naive girl who lived in the forest.

One last memory to a time long dead, yet somehow still so fresh and alive.

One last remembrance to Nikolaus, a creature so spectacularly wondrous, so infinitely beautiful, in her ignorance she had named him the Crimson Man.

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This excerpt is from Beautiful Sin: betrayed. The book is a prequel to the Vicious Bliss series. It is a future project and will be released online chapter-by-chapter.

©2009 Claudia D. Christian. All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission from DelSin Publishing, LLC. DelSin Publishing, LLC and the author assume no liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual or fictional events, locations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Image Credit: hisks @ Stock.Xchng