Claudia D. Christian

Estimated reading time: 4 – 6 minutes

Julian crossed his leg. The elegant movement brought Lily a bit closer. “You live here, closed off from the world. You can’t leave without permission. Unlike Lily, you chose to live this life. Why?”

“I loved her father.”

“Why?”

Rachel kept her stare even with his. “There is no why.”

“Pardon me if my nature seems disagreeable, but there is always a why. What’s yours?”

She blew a long breath before smiling. “He was the most magnificent man I have ever known. I never knew how…strong…love could be until I knew Stephan. He became everything to me. Without him…there was no point in anything else. So when he offered me this life I took it. I took it and never looked back.”

“Even though he’s abandoned you both, you still love him.”

“Julian!” Lily’s cry curled his lip like an overly-pleased cat. She had forgotten to stick to his surname in her indignation. Julian liked it.

“It’s okay, Lily. Really it is.” Rachel flashed her daughter a sweet smile. “Lord Douglas, you see that darling girl next to you? How can I ever regret one day of my life with her by my side?”

Julian turned his head. He appraised Lily in a manner lacking lecherous intent. “She’s brought you much joy, hasn’t she?”

“More than you can ever know.”

He studied the young girl next to him. His memories tumbled over one another. Flashes of insignificance. Intolerable adoration overlapping diseased frustration. There was a time when he had suffered joy knowing Lily.

It’s not enough. Having you by my side is not enough for a man like me. How can I ever forgive you for not seeing that in me even then? You think you loved me but you never thought to peel back my layers. You never gave anything beneath the surface consideration. It didn’t exist to you. I never existed. You bought the lie, Lily. You selfish bitch.

“Mrs. Walker.”

“Yes, Lord Douglas?”

“You know how all this is going to end, of course?”

Rachel’s color remained high. She nodded her head slightly.

“No matter how much you wish it otherwise, no matter how much time passes or doesn’t, no matter what Lily does or doesn’t do, it all is going to end the same. She’s going into that lake.”

Lily marbleized. Her irrefutable ending, splaying out like a skinned carcass for all to consume, made her feel inhuman. Insignificant. Just a statue in a room to be looked at, dissected without drawing blood. To be tolerated.

“I know that.” Rachel’s face rippled. Misery, rage, and hopelessness made her voice trembled as she repeated the words.

“I want to be there.”

The words fell like a stone on glass. It skittered between them, noise masking the crack it left behind.

Lily wiggled her hand. Julian crushed it, relieving the pressure only when she stopped.

“You want to be there. As in cause or relief?”

“I err towards relief, Mrs. Walker.”

Rachel’s mouth compressed upon itself. She looked very young suddenly. Her eyes, bright as the sky by nature, dimmed. She looked lost, flattened by events beyond her control. Lily wanted to speak, to say something outrageous, daring, and idiotic. Better anger and a tongue-lashing rather than the misery her mother suffered now.

“I agree.” Rachel straightened in her chair. Small hands folded upon one another, reflecting the union of her sadness and dignity. “You may see Lily. If she wants it. I trust you to do nothing she doesn’t want, Lord Douglas.”

“You have my word Lily will only end up doing what she wants. Nothing less. Nothing more.”

“I see you’re very careful with your words.”

“I am deliberate.”

“Then we are in accordance.” Rachel stood up. Julian was already on his feet before she had completely slid out of the chair. Lily was up by proxy of his hold. Rachel noted his possession with a raised brow.

Julian released Lily’s hand. It slid away from her, warmed by keeping such close contact. He bowed deeply. “I appreciate your consideration, Mrs. Walker. My memories of you are most deserved.”

Rachel smiled. She looked much like her daughter in that moment that Julian smiled in return. His reflex borne free from preconceived intent. Genuine in a way that made Lily’s heart stutter. He looked so much like the man she knew once before. Lily turned away.

“I’ll be upstairs. Thank you so much for coming by to see me, Lord Douglas.”

“Completely my pleasure, Mrs. Walker.”

“Lily?”

“Yes, Mama?”

“Do see Lord Douglas out when he’s ready.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”